The Trickle

I sit in loneliness in isolation in want near despair
with little hope
All the while I hear a trickle a reminder background
music
I am out of food out of booze nearly out of heating
oil so the water trickles
To prevent the pipes from freezing a practical step in
a life impractically lived

The white noise of worry drowned out by the trickle
The desire to cry out and to moan in despair drowned
out by the trickle
The sighs the whimpers the pacing the staring in the
mirror drowned out by the trickle
Muttering talking lamenting singing a catatonic silent
chant drowned out by the trickle

The trickle reminds me of the small gradual death of
an attempted life
The trickle reminds me of the drip drip drip of an
existence barely room temperature
The trickle reminds of of my failure of my loss of my
weakness of my sad life
The trickle reminds me of my desire to do better to
improve to keep my chin up

Some days the trickle seems like a torrent the
troubles all wash over in one mighty stream
I'm drowning I think submerged vision cloudy hearing
muffled dark undertow
Got to make it to the top or no one will notice no has
noticed I can't swim
Then it subsides and I'm back on dry land giving
thanks then I hear the trickle

January, 2007