Writing Sober

Writing is painful
writing is risky
writing is a jump off the cliff of emotion

Risky business better not done
without protection
without padding

Writing sober is irresponsible
foolhardy
a risk that may leave you damaged

Like driving without a seatbelt
football without a helmet
alone naked

Alcohol provides the protection
like the ice applied to a burn
why feel the pain

Even pulling off a band aid
facing that terrible knowledge
that it will hurt

You can leave it on
you can moisten it
apply some trickery or
just pull and hurt

But it is a necessary pain
one that will subside
the pain of writing may not

So writing sober is a mistake
alcohol doesn't free the mind
or loosen the inhibitions

It allows you to write
knowing that the pain will be deadened
it is the net

You jump
you feel
you expose yourself knowing
it may lead to an emotional maze

No way out
but with your protection
the feeling is not so intense
so dramatic

Will I advance to the moment
where I can write without protection
do I want to

I don't think so
for to advance is to admit
the deadening of my spirit

The arrogance of having arrived
having no worries
nothing to contemplate

The uncontemplated life is a
pathway to dullness
to living to avoid feelings

I want to feel
and drink
and write
and cry
and regret
and celebrate my life

My mistakes
my triumphs
my loves
my losses
all faced in front of me
in words

They look back at me
as rivals
daring me to express what I feel
daring me to wound

And I relish the chance
but not without protection

January, 2007

The Trickle

I sit in loneliness in isolation in want near despair
with little hope
All the while I hear a trickle a reminder background
music
I am out of food out of booze nearly out of heating
oil so the water trickles
To prevent the pipes from freezing a practical step in
a life impractically lived

The white noise of worry drowned out by the trickle
The desire to cry out and to moan in despair drowned
out by the trickle
The sighs the whimpers the pacing the staring in the
mirror drowned out by the trickle
Muttering talking lamenting singing a catatonic silent
chant drowned out by the trickle

The trickle reminds me of the small gradual death of
an attempted life
The trickle reminds me of the drip drip drip of an
existence barely room temperature
The trickle reminds of of my failure of my loss of my
weakness of my sad life
The trickle reminds me of my desire to do better to
improve to keep my chin up

Some days the trickle seems like a torrent the
troubles all wash over in one mighty stream
I'm drowning I think submerged vision cloudy hearing
muffled dark undertow
Got to make it to the top or no one will notice no has
noticed I can't swim
Then it subsides and I'm back on dry land giving
thanks then I hear the trickle

January, 2007

Hell No, We Won't Go!

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. The failure of the bailout vote yesterday was a failure of leadership. Not House leadership but White House leadership. Leadership is not simply leading the charge and attacking the problem. True leadership is solving the problem. The failure of this bill after such a dramatic send up, and even an interruption of the Presidential campaign makes the crisis much more severe.

When Secretary Paulson marched up to Capitol Hill and demanded unfettered authority over the nation's economy he overplayed his hand. This isn't 9/11 and the Patriot Act. Congress is in no mood to respond to a crisis that didn't exist a week earlier by trusting the White House. This is the fundamental difference between politics and governing. Politics is easy, you can paint in broad strokes, play off your opponent, rally your supporters and be absolutely resolute. Governing is difficult, you have to reach consensus by explaining, negotiating and respecting everyone involved.

The White House did none of this.

A few weeks ago we were in good shape; the trouble in the financial markets was a correction not a crisis. What changed in such a short time? Clearly the American people don't believe that the failure of AIG among others was a surprise attack on the economy and they weren't willing to write a blank check in response. The result is a mess. As much as the Bush administration failed in the buildup to the Iraq conflict, this is a failure of a different magnitude. This is the Iraq conflict with conscription, everyone has skin in the game, and without consensus there will be Hell to pay.

Welcome to Hell. The poor launching and preparation for the rebuilding of our economy cannot be redone. Whatever the result our economic strength will be diminished. This should be an object lesson for the future president, work with and respect the other branches of government; disrespect the balance of power at your peril. You don't have to agree with the other side, you don't even have to mean it, but you do have to get things done in a crisis. If not, the well will be so poisoned that a new well will be necessary which takes time and you may come up dry in the first few attempts. There's no easy solution to this mess, so start digging.

Brother McCain and Sister Paliin

Brother McCain and Sister Palin
It's plain to see your campaign is failin'
While Wall Street is crumblin'
Your poll numbers tumblin'
You're no cure for what we're ailin'

October Surprise

October came a little early this election season. It is conventional wisdom that the party in power will stir up a crisis just in time to bolster its candidate’s standing in the polls. So now we find that Wall Street is in crisis and needs an immediate bailout. Oh and by the way that will be $700 billion please (at the bare minimum) and there’s no time for oversight and questions. The good of the country is at risk and who wants to be against the good of the country?

Sound familiar? Just think back to the Patriot Act, the War on Terror, the Occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq. No need to read the fine print at risk of appearing unpatriotic. Do what we say and don’t ask any questions. After all, we have the good of the country at heart and it will all work out just fine in the end. Well we don’t know the end of that story but we certainly know it’s not going to work out fine. We can’t even be sure this crisis isn’t a distraction as the President prepares for the real October surprise in Iran.

The President has made it clear that we are at war and that this is a time of sacrifice. So as our poor and elderly shiver this winter they can do so with pride for we just can’t afford that extravagant energy assistance program. Whether its programs to educate and feed our children or support the troops as they and their families attempt to rebuild their lives when they return it’s just too expensive during a time of war.

But while they wait in line at the velvet rope of appropriations, Wall Street took the express lane right to the front. You see when they suffer we all suffer and we can’t allow that to happen. Or can we?

Well as someone running for political office is fond of saying, “Yes we can!” So Congress has another bite at the apple, another opportunity to do its job. It’s simple, just say no. Say no to the Wall Street Bailout.

But don’t stop there. Once Congress finds its courage, it can say no to the continued occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq that has cost this country $556 billion and counting according to the National Priorities Project. Say no to the war profiteers. Say no to the continued entitlement spending for the richest one percent known as the Bush tax cuts.

Congress should look at this $700 bailout request and ask itself one simple question: What would $556 billion do to bolster our economy? What did that vote to fund the occupation take away from our citizens at home? How much more will we need to spend just to recover? The amount is unknowable, but we do know this, by saying no today we can stop the bleeding (literally) and begin to rebuild. Congress can go home and say that the needs of the American people matter and open up that velvet rope. Now that would be a true October surprise.

Proud to be a Federal Airport Screener

In "Bag It", a commentary essay recently run in the New York Times, author James Bovard writes that the federal role in passenger screening should be eliminated. He frames his opposition to a federal screening workforce by mentioning a few anecdotes about screeners who have betrayed the trust of the traveling public.

I am a federal passenger screener, one of the first hired at Baltimore-Washington International airport, the first airport with a federal screening workforce. I am proud of the work I do. I consider my co-workers trustworthy individuals who take their responsibility for the safety of the traveling public very seriously. That grandmother whom Mr. Bovard says is "treated as a potential hijacker" is actually screened in the same thorough and consistent manner as each airline passenger. I am sure that her grandchildren are happy that she and every other passenger on her flight are screened by the same rigorous standards ensuring her safe arrival at her destination.

Does Mr. Bovard seriously suggest that we should return to the pre-September 11 standards? Private screeners are hired by for-profit firms that must find a balance between safety while pleasing their shareholders and those approving their lucrative contracts. Some private firms are even lobbying Congress to eliminate the U.S. ownership requirement for screening firms. Make no mistake about it the profit motive is the primary reason firms wish to enter this arena.

Federal screeners are not subject to the pressures of the profit motive. We answer to our own shareholders: the American citizen and taxpayer. Not a day goes by when a passenger doesn't thank me for keeping the skies safe. Not a day goes by when I don't hear a parent explaining to a child that I am keeping bad things from being on their flight. I have never heard a passenger complain that I am screening as a federal employee. I am proud to serve my country in this way and to wear the uniform of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA).

I find it unlikely that Mr. Bovard, who is known for his writings against government waste, would find himself motivated to write such a column by similar anecdotes about private screeners or other private employees in the airline industry. If he wants to write about government waste, he should examine the private contractors hired to assess and hire screeners. He should examine the private contractors hired to conduct recertification testing on screeners. He should examine the private contractors hired to manage our human resources.

On the issue of opting-out, a system by which airports have the opportunity to petition the TSA to replace their federal screeners with private contractors, Rep. Carolyn Maloney (NY) has introduced legislation to eliminate the opt-out provision in the law establishing TSA.

I am a federal passenger screener. I am proud to serve my country. I will fight on the front lines of the war on terrorism to keep air travel safe for the good our country and, yes, the economy. My co-workers are dedicated to providing not just safe airline travel but the assurance that we are professionals dedicated to serving our country and keeping the flying public safe. Mr. Bovard does a great disservice to the 46,000-plus civil servants who each day take on the enormous task or providing security to the traveling public. We have nothing to apologize for and we intend to continue to serving our country.

August, 2004

The Dandelion

What does a dandelion know about rejection
Its beauty is evident its color strong
Yet by nature’s laws it’s
An uninvited guest to the lawn

So it feels the scorn
It feels the shame
It’s not a flower at all
They call it an ugly name

Weed they say an invader in the field
One of our greatest fears
How can they grow so fast
Is all the dandelion hears

Its colors fade
The wilting feeling of rejection
The stifling suffocation
Of utter dejection

So the dandelion fades
It knows it must change
It appears to die
The metamorphosis is strange

The color bleeds away
The petals turn to powder
It’s time to fly but will be back
In greater numbers and prouder

April, 2007